twist a wish

Granted

You become so involved in the non meat eaters clan that you decide to become a scientist and try to splice vegetable genes so u can make an unstoppable vegetable army that will take over the world but the Vegetable Rights Activists build try houses outside you lab and throw leaves at you, fearing your life you shot your self.

I wish i could shape shift.

granted

but you shape shift into a grapefruit the size of japan and anally rape kava while bill clinton throws pet monkeys at you while dancing on your mothers bush.

i wish kailkone could play cs.

Granted

But as he becomes so engrossed in cs he decided to take it on in a real life form and dons all the Terrorist outfits and decided to hostage you he gets sorounded by the CT's and decides to poke a gun up your bum and shot you through the window you land on CT and he aint a Happy Chappy so he he throws you of the Grand Canyon Luckily you land on a sheep and you decide to have your way with it but this sheep is actually me in my shape shifting form before i turned into a grape fruit and i push you over the edge and you die. (lol nice sig btw )

I wish that I could fly

granted
but then u get taken in by a family birds mistaking you for one of their own, and they never let you leave, which is a shame because it means that we never get to kill you on cs ever again

i wish for a magic bus that can take me wherever i want in the world

granted

but one day you have a slightly gay experimental thought... so the bus rushes you off to amsterdam where bill clinton is waiting to roger you up the arse while your holiding his giant grapefruits and oranges.

i wish for dinner

granted

but you get food poisoning because you cooked the dinner ^.^

i wish for a becca

? granted
but i dont know what a becca is so it randomly explodes and you never get it
i wish for Church covered in thousand island dressing

granted

but you mistake him for a prawn and eat him then he attacks you from the inside lik alien bursts out then he becomes alien then devours the americans, but unfortunately predator arrives to destroy the alien and instead destroys humanity with his bomb things.

i wish for trevor mcdonald

LOLOLOLOL nice church with the prawn thing
granted but then you realise that Trevor Mcdonald is actually a boring bastard and he bores you to death because over and over again all he ever says is "good evening Im trevor Mcdonald" so you kick him in the balls, which makes it worse cos then he says it in a really high pitched voice, which sends you over the edge and unfortunately you kill youself

i wish for a creme egg, actually no i wish for 2 creme eggs mmmmmmm

granted

but because you asked for 2 creme eggs, the one creme egg gets jealous of the other while you are eating it out and it decides to kill you from suffocating on sweet sweet yolk.

i wish for the best whit and sense of humour in the universe

Granted


But you as you have to best whit and humour in the world lesbians begin to fight over you and the gays are like WTF we wqant some of that aaction and join in then a massive war begins and you use your whit as weapon to win this war but it backfires and you implode.


I wish i everyone would stop wanting to kill me...

granted

but instead everyone else dies and your alone (thats as invetive as i can manage right now)

wishes people would stop imploding people on twist my wish

granted

but because this wish is such a difficult wish, you have 2 implode for it to come true.

i wish for a rubber ducky

Granted

But this is one you buy from a strange women on the corner and when you take it home and play with it in the bath you begin to see tht it is real and starts to grow as it reacts badly with your bath bubbles when it grows it eats you and you become born in an egg and sent to market where a giant has you for breakfeast as a boiled egg.


I wish that Santa would become a crime fighting super hero

granted
but then santa becomes so involved in crime fighting that he completely forgets about presents and christmas is ruined, after a couple of years the reason for this is tracked down to being you fault and you are blamed for ruining christmas for ever, you become the Grinch!!!!!!
I wish that my mobile phone was better than the peice of crap it is at the moment

Granted

But it becomes so ultimate that it begins to think on its own and decided to one day take over your body. It does this successfully and controls, one day it decided to take your body for a drive in a plane, it forgot that you didnt know how to fly a plane and u crashed on an island never to be seen again


I wish that I was big and green like the hulk.

granted
I though u where just like him, with out the strength

I wish for a blue face

granted

but you become so ugly frag decides to hit on you!

i wish the earth was square

granted
but then you decide to take a trip to the edge of the earth you get there and you can see into space and you think its the coolest thing in the world but secretly frag has followed you and because of your comments about him hitting on kava he pushes you off the edge and you forever fall through space ruing the day you said it
I wish that i can score 3 goals tonight

granted

but their all in your own net and you implode while your right arm is attacked by a grapefruit the size of japan =]

i wish people would come up with more challenging wishes

what is it with you and things imploding lol
granted but then everyone starts to think of more challenging wishes as you asked, but no one can think of any and this whole topic is ruined as no one can be arsed to think of any more and play cs instead
I wish that a large bird would come through my work window pick me up and take me to new zealand to play with the hobbits

Granted

But on your way to New Zealand the bird shits on you and you look like a white splodge of Mayo. Wen you arrive at the hobbits land you proceed to play with them while they r secretly plannign on cooking you and eating for there the hobbit festival. you find this out and try to escap but you cant get away becuase you have been drugged up your bum and u fall asleep never to wake again.

I wish that i would loko out my window now and see Jessica Alba

granted
but you see Jessica Alba facing away from you, u tell all ur mates that its Alba and they all come rushing over to take a look, u shout out Oi alba you is looking mighty fine today and she turns around
but it isnt actually Jessica Alba its a bloke that looks like her from behind, and u r forever ridiculed for it
I wish it was 4 o clock rather than 3

Granted

But then you go through out life wondering what that hour was like that you missed so much so that you spend all your wakened hours inventing a time machine, you make this time machine then go back to that fatal hour where you see your mum and dad having sex, ur scarred and run away to the moon. never to be seen again.

I wish that I could find a descent full time job

Granted

A producer comes by and ask u if u where intrested in making a movie, and u say yes, when u come over to the studio u find out its a gay porn movie with a shit sceen, and u are gonna play the guy who is beeing shit on. and u did already sing the contract, if u refuse u will spend the remaining days of your life in a gay prison.

I wish I can find somthing better to replay to you guys


omg im shitty mood today