funny one lines/jokes

Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are gone. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you use a disabled one.

have you heard about the new car that renault are bringing out, supposedly it helps you make you kids dissapear, its called the renault Mcaine

did i just go there, oh i think i did :p

haha trent, dw i think it is time for the maddie jokes.


What's the difference between the McCanns and other parents? When other parents bury their kid in sand at the beach for a laugh, they dig them back out afterwards.

lol
whats the difference between madie and pope john paul the 2nd
the pope died a virgin

haha

Gerry and Kate McCann went to see the Pope to ask if he could help find their daughter.
The Pope said he'd love to help but the Catholic Clergy was more used to hunting down small boys.

ouch

thats what maddie said lol

Trent army wrote:

thats what maddie said lol

lmao that was good Trent. actually made me laugh out loud.

thats cos im a funny guy lol
i got another one
church if this is too racist tell me and i shall delete, i hope it aint cos this joke is mint

right
2 black guys are walking down the street, they see a shop infront of them with this sign 'black guys the moment you have all been waiting for is finally here, turn yourselves white for £15'
the 2 black guys look at each other in amazment
the first one says "dude this rocks, finally after years of persecution we can finally be equal with the white man, but keep our black roots"
the 2nd guy says "yeah man lets do it"
they both check in their pockets the 1st guy pulls out a £20 note and the 2nd guy pulls out a £10 note. They think for a second then the 1st guy says right i got it ill go in with the £20 note get myself changed then when i come out i shall give you the £5 change so that you can get it done too, the other guy nods in agreement and the guy goes in

Half an hr later the 1st guy comes back, a fucking miraculous change has occured this bloke who was blacker than black is now completely white, blonde hair, blue eyes, the lot
the other black guy in shock says "wow thats amazing, dude give me that £5 change so i can get myself changed"
The newely changed white guy says back "Nigga please, go get yourself a job!!"

lmfao

Hahahaahah


That is quality man.

not as good as urs but still...

Two Sanatry towels walking down the road one day they spot to Tampons across the road one turns to the other and says

"should we go over and have a chat with them?"
The other replies

"Nah there both stuck up cunts!"

lol
nice dude i like
made me chuckle lol

good good, that was the idea

WOOP WOOP you got skills as well now
high five

*SLAP*

High fives are so awsome!

nice jokes got a grin on my face finaly after 8 hours work

lol thought this said funny 1 LINERS!

fools


lol

sorry church, i got a funny one liner

Church is good with ladies......

ouch that gotta hurt.

hmmm one liners.

what is big and round and can pwn u all in css ? ME

haha Kava that is a funny one

Kavamaðurin wrote:

ouch that gotta hurt.

hmmm one liners.

what is big and round and can pwn u all in css ? ME

Best JOKE I've heard in a long time!!! Sorry guys, but this one's the Joke of all Jokes!!

Man walks into the Doctors all wraped up in nothing but clingfilm.

Man:

Doctor, Doctor, I think there's something wrong with me..... Can you tell me what it is?!?!??

Doctor:

It's simple my friend, I can clearly see your nuts!!!

your barred

haha

lol we're all soo harsh to each other

and blatontly i am the best at cs.s!

Trent army wrote:

thats cos im a funny guy lol
i got another one
church if this is too racist tell me and i shall delete, i hope it aint cos this joke is mint

right
2 black guys are walking down the street, they see a shop infront of them with this sign 'black guys the moment you have all been waiting for is finally here, turn yourselves white for £15'
the 2 black guys look at each other in amazment
the first one says "dude this rocks, finally after years of persecution we can finally be equal with the white man, but keep our black roots"
the 2nd guy says "yeah man lets do it"
they both check in their pockets the 1st guy pulls out a £20 note and the 2nd guy pulls out a £10 note. They think for a second then the 1st guy says right i got it ill go in with the £20 note get myself changed then when i come out i shall give you the £5 change so that you can get it done too, the other guy nods in agreement and the guy goes in

Half an hr later the 1st guy comes back, a fucking miraculous change has occured this bloke who was blacker than black is now completely white, blonde hair, blue eyes, the lot
the other black guy in shock says "wow thats amazing, dude give me that £5 change so i can get myself changed"
The newely changed white guy says back "Nigga please, go get yourself a job!!"

lmfao

LMFAO it might be racist

but its funny!