funny one lines/jokes

right new joke of the day
think i may make this a daily occurance so enjoy guys

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, ''What is that?''
''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy.
''Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, ''These taste like shit.''
''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're getting smarter already.''
lmao

hhahhaha, good one

joke of day, this is for some of u guys out there
not pointing fingers lol

FACT: A woman can guide a 1.5" diameter penis into an inch diameter vagina in pitch dark without looking, but cant park a 6ft car in a 7ft space in broad daylight!

haha amazin, both of those lol, i got a really cheesy one but it makes me giggle,

Two packets of crisps ared walking down the street, a taxi pulls up and offers them a lift they turn to the taxi driver and say

"no thanks buddy were Walkers!" haha the cheese

oh dear
can u guess whats coming chunk
Your barred

haha, damn.

the word for the day is "legs"


spread the word ^.^

your barred
this is funny jokes, not word of the day lol
noooob

lol it is a joke n00b...
spread legs...
YOUR barred!

lmao

lol see! its funny!
WINNER!

haha i get it kail, lol, hey trent



YOU BARRED!

lol, i accept that, but i still dont think it was that funny, if u can come up with a joke that makes me laugh then i will barr myself

anyway, joke of the day from me

What's the cruellest thing to do to a one-armed Ethiopian hanging off a cliff?
Put a Mars Bar in his back pocket.

and seeing that we did so shit heres another

What's the difference between Lewis Hamilton and the England football team?
Lewis Hamilton will still have a McLaren in the morning...

my mate just sent me this joke and i thought it was funny as, so here u go

A man is pacing around in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for his wife to give birth.
A doctor enters the room and says, "Congratulations, sir! You are the father of FOUR bouncing baby boys."
"I'm not surprised, I've got a dick like a chimney stack!" boasts the father.
"Well you want to get it swept then," replies the doctor, "because they're all black."

haha on the chimney joke lol.

I got one but this was more relevent when Hamilton was wining the Grand Prix

In 1930's American 10 white men chasing a black man used to be called the KKK now its Called Formula one.

ive heard that one, tis funny
here is my joke for today, please comment whether u guys find these funny (bar u of course chunk as u already do) would be nice to see if its worthwhile me coming up wid all these lol
right todays:

A jewish boy walks up to his father and asks:

"Dad, can I have 50 pence please?"

Dad replies:

"40 pence? What do you want 30 pence for?"

yeh i think i am being dumb here but i dont get it

LMAO at the jew joke!
cheap bastards...
everythings kocher though (kocher is what jews say if somethin is good)

haha Trent just seen the John Smiths ad on tinternet is good, watched the old ones aswell with Peter Kay funny as fuck man, i love the one wen he moves his mum out the house. BTW off topic here but my m8 who i rent the house of is changing the broadband to talk talk does anyone have it or know of anyone who does? and is it any good cause i am worried it is goin to be shit iand my ping will be like a tramp, slow and smelly...

chunk are u retarded
how can u not get that last jewish joke
jews are money hungry bastards and the joke is that the boy asks for 50p but his dad barters with him to make it seem like the boy only asked for 30p nooob
and i dunno about talk talk mate, call em up and ask what the differenc is

right joke for the day seeing that im stuck in the office, sorry if it offends people but i found it well funny

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Pakistani are convicted of a crime in a foriegn country and sentenced to 20 lashes each. However, they are each granted a wish.

The Pakistani goes first and wishes for a pillow to be tied to his back, which he receives. However, the pillow bursts after only 10 of the lashes.

The Irishman goes next and wishes for two pillows to be tied to his back, which he also gets. Unfortunately, the pillows give up after 15 lashes.

The Englishman goes to the whipping block, and the whipper says to him: "Because you are English and England is a great country, I give you two wishes!"

The Englishman thinks about it and says that his first wish is to receive 100 lashes instead of 20. The whipper says: "Fuckin' hell, it is true, the English really do have the heart of a lion and nerves of steel. I respect your bravery. Tell me, what is your second wish?"

The Englishman replies: "Tie that fuckin' Paki to my back!"

haha, cruel but I like it

i would like it but i dont like the english..... lol but funny tho

todays joke
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her a good trip.
The wife answers, "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?", she asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!"
"Oh, that", she said, "Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl!"

haha that is quality man

todays joke is quite funny, not up to normal standards but it made me chuckle

Peter Andre had returned to Australia to see his family and was driving with his sister in the outback. A gang of theives forced them to pull over. Peter was made to hand over his wallett containing his bank and credit cards and a wad of cash. He also had to hand over the keys to the Range Rover. His sister had to empty her hand bag and the theives took what money and jewelry she had and raced off in the stolen car.

"Good grief we've been cleaned out"

"It's not so bad" replied his sister "I managed to save my wedding ring"

"How did you do that?"

Embarrased she explained with a very red face that she had hidden it in her vagina.

"Fuck me" exclaimed the antipodean minor celebrity "If Katie had been here we'd have saved the Range Rover"